by Sean Croxton
What’s holding you back?
All of us have that one thing that we set our sights on, yet its realization remains elusive no matter how hard we try.
Maybe you want to lose twenty pounds.
Maybe you want to save for that house.
Maybe you want to leave your stressful job and do something you’re actually passionate about.
For something that you claim to want more than anything else, it’s amazing how quickly you find yourself wandering off the path to its accomplishment.
You’ll start on Monday, right?
Or you’ll do it “someday”.
The last time I checked, someday wasn’t a day on the calendar.
There’s something standing between you and your life, the life that you deserve.
The question is: What the heck is it?
I had wrestled with this very question for years. However, at first it had more to do with others than me. I wondered how in the world could someone spend hundreds of dollars a week for personal training only to leave the gym and return to a life of sugar and alcohol binges.
How could a client pay top dollar for my coaching, run expensive lab tests, and set goals with such earnest enthusiasm only to commit unremitting acts of self-sabotage?
To say one thing and DO nothing.
My friend Blue has an awesome definition for integrity. Integrity is the diligence to do the deed after the emotion of the moment has passed. It’s doing what you said you’d do when no one is looking.
Emotion can be a flight risk, walking out without a moment’s notice.
Here today. Gone tomorrow.
It’s how we execute our action plans absent of emotion that sets the achievers apart from the dreamers.
This past year has been quite a journey. A lot of reflection and introspection has taken place. As I took a hard look at myself, I began to see a lot of what drove me up the wall with my clients resided within me.
Lofty goals without action.
Like they say, the things that bother you most about others have more to do with you than them.
Of all people I should be the last to judge another for not following through on their intentions. I can relate.
I’ll be honest. I have three unfinished e-books right here on my laptop. One is three-quarters done. The others are maybe 30-40 pages away from completion. I start. I stop. I start. I stop…
The closer I get to completion, the distance to the finish line moves further and further away. It’s weird. I’m like that weight loss client who drops five pounds, starts looking and feeling better, and then goes back to his or her old habits. But not by choice. I don’t think anyone actually decides to sabotage themselves. It happens unconsciously.
Realizing my shortcomings, I spent many days at seminars sitting on a rock hard chair for hours on end learning about my stories, rackets, strong suits, and act. You may know what I’m talking about. Maybe not. All I’ll say is that it’s not a cult. It’s actually a very effective method for moving beyond your own bullshit (pardon my french), getting complete with the past, and understanding that you are in control of the possibility that is your life.
Those seminars were a tremendous help in getting out of me and getting into we. They got me to realize that who I had become was determined a long, long time ago. Something happened. I made it mean something that it didn’t mean. And I built a wall to protect myself from it ever happening again. It actually has a lot to do with why I’m so good in front of a camera. But that’s a story for another day.
Although I had grown leaps and bounds from those seminars, there was still something missing. Sabotage kept rearing its ugly head. My pattern, which consisted of sitting down to work and eventually finding myself in bed sleeping, carried on.
On one of those long days in bed, I stumbled across the power of the subconscious mind in Bruce Lipton’s book The Biology of Belief.
Lipton writes, “The biggest impediment to realizing the successes of what we dream are the limitations programmed into the subconscious. These limitations not only influence our behavior, they can also play a major role in determining our physiology and health.”
Working with ill clients, you can understand why that passage resonated with me. I have often felt like the mind is the roadblock obstructing the realization of health. We can try multiple diets, run all the lab tests, and do all the coaching in the world, but if the subconscious mind is not congruent with the objective, success may be hard to come by.
According to Lipton, the subconscious mind is running the show 95 percent of the time and is dutifully engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors to assure your reality matches your program – and chances are that you don’t even know it’s happening. (Lipton & Bhaerman, 35).
When does this programming take place?
“The most powerful and influential programs in the subconscious mind are the ones that were recorded first. During the extremely formative periods between gestation and six years of age, our fundamental life-shaping programs were acquired by observing and listening to our primary teachers – our parents, siblings, and local community. Unfortunately, as psychiatrists, psychologists, and counselors are keenly aware, much of what we learned was based on misperceptions that are now expressed as limiting and self-sabotaging ideas.” (Lipton & Bhaerman, 34).
What I found most fascinating was Lipton’s discussion of brain activity as we move through our developmental stages. Between the age of two and six, our brains are primarily in theta (4-8 Hz of activity). In this state, we had an incredible ability to download prodigious amounts of information about our environments. It is also a time when we unconsciously assimilate the beliefs and behaviors of our parents.
Still wondering why you turned out just like your Mom and Dad? 🙂
Anyway, I don’t mean to get all Freudian on you, but if you really sit back and consider your limiting beliefs, you may realize that a lot of them originate at a very early age, likely when you were in that theta state. Many decades later, you are still running on the same program.
I certainly was.
The subconscious mind processes some 20,000,000 environmental stimuli per second. Meanwhile, the conscious mind can only attend to 40. Without question, the latter is outgunned. The subconscious dominion crushes willpower before it has a chance to take root.
How can you crush the subconscious restraint on your life?
According to Lipton, “Once programmed into the subconscious mind, they (our beliefs, behaviors, and attitudes) control our biology for the rest of our lives…or at least until we make the effort to reprogram them.”
Interesting, hypnotherapists drop their patients’ brain activity into theta (sound familiar?) because this low frequency brain wave puts them into a more suggestible, programmable state. (Lipton, 132)
Upon learning this, I jumped up (out of bed) feeling as if I had stumbled upon the Holy Grail of performance and achievement. I contacted Marla Brucker, whom I have known for a few years since taking her Energy Modalities course.
Since our first hypno appointment I have been a man of fire, as exemplified by all of the recent activity on this website. I no longer sleep the day away. I no longer wake up on Friday and curse myself for wasting yet another week.
I just GO.
Although I never feel like I’m “getting sleepier” or go into a trancelike state at our appointments, I know for a fact that it is working. I am a new person on many different levels. I am the person I was sabotaging myself from becoming for so many years.
Thanks, Marla! You too, Bruce.
If you’re skeptical, it’s okay. I can appreciate that.
If it works, it works. That’s my philosophy.
This past weekend, I realized that there was one remaining piece to this puzzle that I was missing, my circle of accountability. As rarely as it occurs, friends, family, and mentors are supposed to hold each other accountable. When you set a goal to lose 20 pounds, going at it alone can be an incredibly wearisome challenging. Your accountability circle should keep you on the path to achievement. They should check you when you fall off course. They should remind you of your objective and ask you how things are coming along.
In a nutshell, they should support you.
It’s unfortunate how often our circles assault us with their own subconscious acts of sabotage and negativity. Makes you wonder whose team they are really on. But they know not what they do.
Today, I have a meeting at noon with my new writing coach. He and I will lay out the plan for how we’re going to bring you the most rockin’ e-book every written in the history of e-books. I’m pretty jazzed about it.
I invite you to be part of my accountability circle. I request that you ask me about my book on Facebook. Tweet me. Email me. Leave comments. Please hold me accountable for what I have set out to do. I would appreciate that tremendously.
My goal is for the book to be ready and for sale on July 1, 2011. It will be done.
At the same time, start building your own circle. I’m in! In the comment section below, write what you will achieve and how you will achieve it. Leave your email or twitter address. Let’s hold each other accountable!
If you wish to explore hypnotherapy, I highly recommend it. I cannot promise that your practitioner will be as awesome as mine. But if you’ve been doing something over and over again with no results, it may be worth giving something else a try.
Time to get to work. Oh wait, I am working. 🙂
Life is good.
Marla Brucker may be reached at www.sandiegohypnosis.com. Phone appointments are available.
“We can try multiple diets, run all the lab tests, and do all the coaching in the world, but if the subconscious mind is not congruent with the objective, success may be hard to come by.”
So true Sean. So true.
Thank you for this post. I have been toying with the idea of hypnotherapy for years. I was always afraid or slightly skeptical. I think it has something to do with a strong religious background that says, “Jesus will make a way.” I am not writing this to start a debate on religion. Just explaining my past. The first time I saw your comment about hypnotherapy it has been on my mind. I appreciate this post because it is about more than just changing one aspect of our behavior. It is really about getting into our mind set and understanding what we need to do to create REAL CHANGE! I have been one of your clients that spent money, but I think the answer I was looking for wasn’t the one that I found. The solution didn’t jibe with my own belief. But this post really resonates with me. It is a call to action! You say you want success…but do you really? Thank you for this!
My goal is to develop my newly creared blog by consistently posting and finding my voice. I’m hoping to reach new audiences that haven’t yet learned about the truth about health and nutrition. I especially want to inspire and empower family, friends and others to live healthier, longer, more enjoyable lives. This might not be a concrete goal, but it’s what I’ve hammered out as my goal for now. If anyone cares to hold me accountable, I’d dig that. My email is [email protected].
Thanks, Sean. Can’t wait to read that e-book, brother!
Sean… dude I am “feelin” you on this. I have been reading books on the subconscious mind for years but no one ever tells you how to go about reprogramming it. That would be a best seller! I’ve got plenty of unfinished business as a result of scattered “sub” mind. I am holding myself accountable for getting my bootcamp started by any means necessary come hell or high water! Thanks for the post it is always good to know you’re not walking the journey alone.
Right on, Sean! I look forward to reading your e-book!!!
That’s real! Thanks for reading, Shamra!!
Thanks for your comment, Michaela. Gotta get our minds right to have the success we want.
I appreciate you being open-minded about hypno!
Awesome, Kim!! Where can we all find your blog?
I’m gonna check on you to be sure you’re posting!!
I got you back! So what’s you’re next step in making your boot camp happen.
You’ve got the picture in your mind. How do you want to go about it? When will you have it? How will you know you have it?
Love the stuff coming out of you now a days and I know exactly what you are talking about, its also something that I have been thinking about for awhile. http://aterlycan.wordpress.com/my/my-goals/ this is my blog and my goals, I have many but I have not circle have been going at them alone for the last year. And as you have said I have meet “well meaning” resistance and negative feedbacks from both family and friends if you know what I mean by “well meaning” I got your back sean anytime kid 🙂
My goal is to have a career similar to yours. I’d love to help people achieve their health and fitness goals, and make the general public aware of the power of eating real food! This pre-packaged, processed food, commercial farming nonsense has to stop!
I have no idea where to start, but reading this blog has been great inspiration!
Humans, at least not me, weren’t meant to sit in a cubicle 8 hours a day, 40+ hours a week staring at a computer screen (two in my case).
Keep it real, Sean.
Feeling the love around these parts!
“In the comment section below, write what you will achieve and how you will achieve it.”
I had a dream that my baggage was a semi-truck with two elephants in the back and I was telling someone — “no, really I don’t have any baggage – but that truck behind me is mine.”
So my action this year is to get healthy and let go of a lot of pain. I don’t get close to people because whenever we disagree, they say something behind my back or they say something I don’t like, I take it really hard. I get disillusioned and start to think things like, no one ever approves of me. I don’t know why I let myself get close to this person. Or I even get angry.
This year — I just want to frickin relax about stuff. Let it ride and make friends.
My hair stylist invited me to her church. I usually would knee jerk say, NO. I’m not into a lot of that. But I just might try it. I’m afraid it will go very, very wrong, but maybe I should give having a community and group to belong to and to help support me and me support them a shot as opposed to living in isolation always worried about social situations.
Anyway Chris — When it comes down to “who do you want to see on my show” — I wish you would shoot an hour long show of yourself talking.
I was pretty obsessive about food and all that ‘silly’ stuff and listening to you and reading what you wrote lately made me take a step back and go, wow – why am I doing this to myself? And that really has lead to a lot of life changes, like not spending two hours in the gym when I’m already wore out from yesterday.
Thanks so much man — looking forward to that eBook and I will NOT forget that July 1st commitment so bring it~! 🙂
Love hypnotherapy! I’ve never actually had a one on one in person hypnosession but I’ve tried it over skype, in a group setting and with pre-recorded tapes and I have to say it’s an amazing and powerful experience. I’m not really sure if it’s done much for me or if my changes have been due to other actions I’ve made but I can say that I enjoy it. Glad it’s doing you so much good 🙂
Sorry for not keeping you accountable for your ebook! I remember you telling me about it with such definity that I was sure you were going to get it done. I’ll keep you accountable ’till the 1st 😉
I’m going to “bulk” up to 90 – 93 kg before graduating next year. You can keep me accountable for that 🙂
Take care Sean, Christian Rosenvold.
Love the more holistic path you are on, Sean! I want to write my resume and get back into my career after 5 years at home, raising children. it seems insurmountable now, but I know one step at a time, it is possible. Now, how to find a decent hypnotherapist here in my small town???
Great stuff Sean. I will be buying your e-book on July 1.
Anyway, I thought I’d share my experience with this subject:
I first learned of Bruce Lipton’s work about four or five years ago (wow, has it really been that long?). I absolutely loved reading “The Biology of Belief,” and I wanted to know more about the power of the subconscious mind. Therefore I bought all of Bruce’s CDs and DVDs, and I listened to every interview of his I could find on the internet.
After a while, I became an expert on Bruce’s teachings. Let me put it to you this way: if Dr. Lipton was scheduled to give a seminar in front of an audience that had no idea what he looked like, I could step on stage and convince everyone that I was him because I knew his material so well.
That was all well and good. However, I had a huge problem: my life hadn’t improved at all. In a way, my situation mirrored the experience that Bruce had when he first starting teaching people that they were masters of their lives. (“Well Lipton, your life doesn’t look that great.”)
I think your situation mirrors Bruce’s as well. He had a hard time writing his book, but it got done and is a huge success. I see the same thing happening for you.
Anyway, I’m not sure what I’m getting at. I suppose this illustrates how becoming consciously aware of something does not automatically translate into a change in the subconscious and thus new behaviors.
I could keep rambling on, but I think it’s best if I stop taking up your time and let you DO WORK SON!
I can so relate to what you are saying Sean. So many of the things that you say totally resinate with me. I can’t wait to read your book on July 1st!!! I’ll pay you in advance if that will help get you going. And be prepared to get tweets on a constant basis from me…..i’ve got you Sean!!!!
Keep on Inspiring the World!
Hey Sean, a word to the wise. Just because something that you read or learn has kernels of wisdom, this does not mean that everything is correct and is the only correct way for every situation and for every person. Hypnotherapy can be helpful, however, the other person can inject (even by accident or unconsciously) their own views and biases into it. So perhaps self hypnosis or meditation by oneself or out in nature is better (since it’s only you, whatever revelations occur come from your own heart). Regarding the teachings of this group. I get the sense that their views are pretty rigid and one size fits all. In my experience true wisdom is much more flexible and in many cases uniquely individual. I am not saying that whatever you learned can’t benefit you. You very well may have learned ways to improve yourself. What I am saying is, don’t take everything as Gospel now and buy into everything just because they gave you some pointers that seem to be useful in the immediate future. Who you are was given to you and can never truly be taken away from you. Always remember that knowing who you are – comes from YOU. From your actions, from your heart, from your conscious and unconscious mind; who you are is NOT from any group or hypnotherapy session. Such a rigid system is like a mighty Elm Tree – A storm will come and break it it half. Whereas, the wise Reed is no worse for the ware after the same storm because it is flexible. Don’t fix your mind and heart as rigid as the elm tree and don’t cling to a group that is the elm tree. Learn from the elm tree and incorporate it into your mind and heart as a Reed – flexibility = true survival. God Bless.
Right on brother! I’ve been like a yo-yo the last couple years. I have been wanting abs, but always get to a point where i give up, or fall off the wagon and in the past didn’t know that that’s alright, and you should just get back on it. Mistakes are ok. 🙂 Anyway, I’m certainly going to try hypnotherapy for sure.
How’s your book comin’ along? I’m excited to read/recommend it!
I’m applying to the Institute of Holistic Nutrition to study and become a Nutritionist, so I look forward to learning more from your work.
Hey Sean what upp Sean!
I am so excited to let you know that i am on my 12th week of a life changing experience and i will achieve having 0 problems with my digestive system and my overall health will be shared for all the hopeless ones out there!!
how will i achieve it:
Eating real food in combination with some nice supplements, being more active, and sleeping more! with the help of some great personal training friends that have taken me on this journey!!
because of them i ended up following undergroundwellness and your great book the one you DID FINISH!!! so my life style on real food has begun!
i am now sharing in my blog http://daanscrafts.blogspot.com/
to let all hopeless people have HOPE!
Thank you Sean you have opened my mind and gave me the wanting to stop sabotaging myself! and yes i want some Hypnotheraphy too!