by Sean Croxton

Mediocrity is an interesting place to live.

It’s safe yet frustrating. Cozy yet disempowering.

It’s like a default setting for human beings who wish to do more with their lives but just can’t get — or keep — going.

There have been days when I longed for mediocrity and normalcy. You may even remember the time when I shut down my YouTube channel and social media accounts. My goodness, you have no idea how awesome that felt. No longer would I have to deal with 8 billion emails every morning. Never again would I have to wake up to find another smear video by the fruitarian dude posted on my Facebook wall. And I wouldn’t have to worry about getting caught in line at Whole Foods with a slice of chocolate cake in my basket.

I just wanted to make edu-taining health videos. I didn’t sign up for all of this other stuff!

Leading up to my meltdown, I had convinced myself that I couldn’t deal with you guys — the readers, listeners, and viewers who followed me online. But the truth of the matter is that the fear of success had taken over both my subconscious and conscious minds and had its way with me.

But as I like to say, every breakdown is followed by a breakthrough. And here we are, almost two years later, still cranking away at it. And having a ton of fun doing it.

It’s interesting that we are so very familiar with the fear of failure, but seldom do we ever consider how we fear success at the same time.

It almost sounds oxymoronic. How can we fear what we desire the most?

When we fear failing and we fear succeeding, what’s left is mediocrity, a place where an overwhelming majority of us are living, maybe never to know how powerful we can be.

When I first read through Dr. Srini Pillay’s book Life Unlocked, I nearly peed my pants by how much I could relate to the chapter entitled Fear of Success. I read these fears aloud to my girlfriend-at-the-time, and after each one she would say, “Oh, I remember that one. You had that one bad!”

It was a trip.

So today I’d like to share a handful of these fears with you, as outlined by Dr. Pillay. Because in our quests to become Professional Human Beings, it is imperative that we are clear about the obstacles that may stand between us and our goals so that we may remove them and move forward.

In the sections below, I will make references to health and fitness goals. However, the fears of success can apply to any aspect of your life. Here goes….

The Loneliness of Success: The fear of loneliness can certainly stand in the way of achieving success, as being successful requires an inordinate amount of independent study and practice. In other words, it involves lots of alone time. I can relate to this one. I’ve likely spent many thousands of hours reading books on health. No one else was there while I was doing it. It was just me.

Imagine how many hours Michael Jordan spent taking jump shots when no one else was around. Tens of thousands of hours, I’m sure! I know a lot of people who can’t do anything by themselves.

And while I can attest to the many hours of alone time to gain expertise, I can also vouch for its rewards. Nothing makes us bigger people magnets than success does. Think about it, what would you give to have lunch with Michael Jordan or any other person you consider to be successful?

In terms of fitness and health goals, loneliness may involve having lunch by yourself while your co-workers grab a pizza. It may involve working out solo when no else will show up. What’s funny is that once you achieve your goal, everyone will want to eat and work out with you! They’ll all want to know your “secrets”. But the truth is that while they were eating, watching TV, and doing all of the wrong things, you were doing all of the right things all by yourself. There are no secrets to share. You just had a reason to achieve your objective that was much bigger than your fear of being lonely. That’s all.

The Responsibility of Success: Ever picked up a tabloid mag or spent some time on the TMZ website? Success may bring plenty of rewards like fulfillment, sense of accomplishment, and money, but it also generates what can turn out to be an intense amount of scrutiny. Living life underneath a ginormous microscope just can’t be that much fun!

If your goal is to lose 30 pounds of fat, you will likely find that everything you put into your mouth is under constant scrutiny. Does that salad have gluten in it? Is that tap water you’re drinking? I thought that was bad! Oh, you’re taking another day off from the gym, what’s wrong? This kind of scrutiny can really stack up on you, trigger the brain’s inhibitory pathways, and sabotage even the best of intentions.

I like to follow Bill Cosby’s advice — “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

Word.

Fear of the Unknown: Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. Choosing success is equivalent to choosing the unknown and moving closer to it. Imagine walking down a darkened tunnel. I’m sure you wouldn’t walk the same way you would if the lights were on. Instead, you experience something called anticipatory anxiety. When this happens, inhibitory circuits in your brain light up, thus impeding the function of the brain’s action centers. No action, no success.

Like the guy in the movie What About Bob says, “baby steps”. When you focus on small actions, your prospects of succeeding are much greater than when you solely focus on the end game. One workout, meal, and day at a time, my friends. Or like my main man Todd Durkin says, “Win the day”.

Winning the day produces far less anxiety than winning the next 6 months.

Fear that Once Success is Reached, The Drive to Succeed Will be Lost: I’ve totally been through this one. I call it What’s Next Syndrome. When I finished writing The Dark Side of Fat Loss (DSFL), I wasn’t overwhelmed with joy by any means. I was actually kinda bummed. Why? Because I fell in love with the process of writing it. I didn’t really want to finish it. I was addicted to the sense of focus, drive, and attention the writing process gave me.

After I launched DSFL, you may recall that I went through a phase where I didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself. My mind was all over the place. My brain went from intense focus to complete chaos!

I’ve seen this very same state in many of the clients I have worked with. They own the process of getting healthier. It consumes them, almost like a hobby. For many, it is the first time they have ever had a purpose in life. Consciously they want to get healthier, but subconsciously the idea of succeeding becomes a threat to the very process of achieving. Or as Pillay writes, “the challenge of being starts to erode the achievement of becoming.”

Enamoring yourself with the process of becoming healthy can result in the letdown of actually being healthy — that is, if you can’t find some sense of continued meaning in succeeding.

Anyway, I’m running up on my 3-Page Rule. The rest of Dr. Pillay’s Fears of Success are:

* The disorientation of success

* Fear of not being able to maintain success

* Fear that success will attract opportunistic people that will prey upon us

* Fear of losing our identity

* Fear of competition

* Fear of being “found out”

Later this week, we will talk more about how to resolve the conflicts in our heads and turn them into action. In the meantime, listen to THIS INTERVIEW I recorded with the doc on UW Radio.

Down with mediocrity!!!

Out.

Sean
I Like to Spend Hours Upon Hours By Myself Reading and Stuff…

by Sean Croxton

Haters gonna hate.

Another of one of life’s certainties is that there will always be people — sometimes even those who are supposed to support you the most — who will do all they can to keep you down. They go out of their way to sabotage your diet and exercise program. They do all they can to tear you away from your significant other. For some reason, they can’t seem to be happy for you no matter what awesomeness may be occurring in your life.

That’s a hater.

Yet, little do we know that our biggest hater may be, in fact, that three-pound noodle between our ears.

Last night, I decided to pluck one of my favorite books, Life Unlocked: 7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear, off the shelf. In it, author Dr. Srini Pillay breaks down the science of fear and why even though we know what we want, we just can’t seem to act on it. We get stuck.

This reminds me of a Facebook status update I posted a couple of months ago, in which I asked my peeps what they would do if they were guaranteed to succeed. The responses were some of the most amazing aspirations I had ever read. Yet, when I later inquired about why they were not pursuing these inspiring endeavors, the almost-unanimous response was fear.

But where does this fear come from?

The human brain is quite the survivalist. Although we have developed higher order functions like speaking, thinking, and, of course, blogging, our brains still possess primitive forces remaining ever-vigilant for signs of danger or threat. It is these latter forces that may lie at the root of what I call the game of start-stop-start-stop-only-to-start-again-and-stop-again when it comes to moving toward our goals.

I detailed my own seven-year battle with the start-and-stop cycle, as it related to completing my e-book, in chapter 10 of The Dark Side of Fat Loss.

In the diet and exercise world, this cycle is rampant. And it may not have anything to do with the program one is following. In fact, it may not have to do with anything within conscious awareness! The source may reside with in the subconscious mind.

Before I go on, I should let you know that what I am about to describe is merely the basics of fear science. If I went any deeper, we’d end up with a really long blog. So, for further reading, I suggest you check out chapter one of Life Unlocked, or at a minimum, listen to THIS INTERVIEW with Dr. Pillay on UW Radio.

At the heart of fear lies an almond-shaped mass of nerve cell bodies, located in the center of the brain, called the amygdala (a-mig-duh-la), a primitive you-better-run-from-that-hungry-lion structure we all inherited from our ancestors. When danger is present, this structure lights up, thus activating our fear circuitry.

To say that the amygdala has an itchy trigger finger would be an understatement. Take for example people who have a condition called cortical blindness, with which there is no damage to the eyes themselves but to the striate cortex, the part of the brain responsible for processing the nerve signals relayed from the eyes. In other words, the eyes work fine, but the brain just can’t make images out of the information, thus the individual can’t “see” anything.

Studies have shown that when photos of people with fearful facial expressions — or other unsettling images such as spiders — are presented to cortically blind subjects, the amygdala fires and the fear circuitry is activated!

Equally mind-blowing is that it only takes a mere 10 millisecond (ms) of exposure to the image for the unconscious brain to register and begin to process the fear source. After just 30 ms, the conscious brain is set into motion.

If the brain can perceive a visually communicated image when the individual is without the ability to see it, just imagine what’s going on within our brains when we are inundated with negative news stories, violent video games, celebrity tabloids, office gossip, jobs we dread, and negative self talk?

So, what does this have to do with your brain being a hater, or why you’ve been playing the start-stop-start-stop game?

Consider the following analogy that I’m totally stealing, almost word-for-word, from Dr. Pillay. (I’m sure he won’t mind.)

Nerve tissue is live tissue that acts just like an electrical cord. When you plug the cord into its power source, current begins to flow. If you plug an electrical cord into a battery, which produces direct current (DC), direct current will run through the cord. If you plug the cord into a wall outlet, which transmits alternating current (AC) from a power plant, alternating current will run through the cord. The nature of the power generated by the source determines how the current flows. (Pillay, 4)

In Pillay’s analogy, the sources are the battery and the power plant, while the resulting currents are DC and AC, respectively.

When it comes to the nerve tissue in our brains, the source is the events of the world. As soon as we are born, we are constantly exposed to events (source inputs), all of which flow into our brains, consciously or unconsciously, regardless of whether we are wide awake, daydreaming, or sound asleep. In other words, the brain is always plugged in. If the events taking place are of a fearsome nature, then a fear current will run through the nerve tissue.

Now, imagine what would happen if we were consciously aware of every single event that took place around us. We would go nuts! There would be way too much to attend to. Yet, although we cannot process it all on a conscious level, the subconscious is still taking it in. Pillay uses the example of a patient who suffered from a case of anxiety that subsided once her husband stopped watching crime shows in bed after she fell asleep. No, she wasn’t watching the shows, but because of them, her fear circuits were firing as she slept.

Now for the hater part. The amygdala is connected to the conscious brain, thus allowing signals to run between it and the more conscious get-the-job-done action centers (the cortex) that we need to move toward our goals, whether they be losing weight, being in a healthy relationship, or making more money. Just as those whom we feel we are most connected to may be our biggest haters, the close connection between the cortex and the amygdala can put our plans of lean bodies, wedding rings, and higher tax brackets on hold.

When fear is present — again, consciously or unconsciously — the amygdala fires up. Pillay writes, “this amygdala activation will spread to the cortex and disrupt the synchrony your brain needs for the cortex to organize your efforts toward the goal.”

Amygdala gotta hate.

I’m running up against my 3-page blog rule. I’ll be back with more tomorrow. But, in the meantime, consider what fears you might have — consciously or unconsciously — about getting healthier and/or losing weight.

Do you worry about what other people — friends and family, in particular — will think of your diet and lifestyle changes?

Do you worry that your significant other, who has gained quite a bit of weight him/herself, will become jealous of the new attention you receive once you achieve your goal?

Or are YOU feeling weary about all of the attention?

Are you scared to death of your next weigh-in and body-fat check with your personal trainer?

As you ponder that for the next day, I challenge you to try just one thing that will surely calm down that overreactive hater in your skull. For the next 24 hours, don’t watch any news, read any newspapers, visit any news sites, play any violent video games, read any gossip mags, or participate in any gossip yourself. Try it for one day and notice how much better you feel.

If there is one thing I have noticed about the Professional Human Beings (PHB) I spend time with, it is that they avoid all of the above, all of the time. And they get stuff done!

Check out the video below regarding this kind of input control with one of my fave PHBs, Todd Durkin.

More on this topic — including some solutions — tomorrow!

Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Out.

Sean
PHB2B