Another of one of life’s certainties is that there will always be people — sometimes even those who are supposed to support you the most — who will do all they can to keep you down. They go out of their way to sabotage your diet and exercise program. They do all they can to tear you away from your significant other. For some reason, they can’t seem to be happy for you no matter what awesomeness may be occurring in your life.
That’s a hater.
Yet, little do we know that our biggest hater may be, in fact, that three-pound noodle between our ears.
Last night, I decided to pluck one of my favorite books, Life Unlocked: 7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear, off the shelf. In it, author Dr. Srini Pillay breaks down the science of fear and why even though we know what we want, we just can’t seem to act on it. We get stuck.
This reminds me of a Facebook status update I posted a couple of months ago, in which I asked my peeps what they would do if they were guaranteed to succeed. The responses were some of the most amazing aspirations I had ever read. Yet, when I later inquired about why they were not pursuing these inspiring endeavors, the almost-unanimous response was fear.
But where does this fear come from?
The human brain is quite the survivalist. Although we have developed higher order functions like speaking, thinking, and, of course, blogging, our brains still possess primitive forces remaining ever-vigilant for signs of danger or threat. It is these latter forces that may lie at the root of what I call the game of start-stop-start-stop-only-to-start-again-and-stop-again when it comes to moving toward our goals.
A month ago, I wrote a blog about how I had been pondering what was going to be my next step in this endless journey of heath, wellness, and mindset.
In that blog I mentioned my desire to learn more about why we do (or not do) the things we do. Why do we long to reach out goals and objectives, only to sabotage ourselves time and time again?
In yet another case of serendipity (it happens quite a bit in my life), I was sent a book called Life Unlocked: 7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear. Reading through Dr. Pillay’s book really blew my hair back. It was exactly what I had been looking for. Not only does he outline the reasons why our brains can be our worst enemies standing in the way of us reaching our mountaintops, but he describes the inner workings of the specific areas of the brain responsible for our many acts of sabotage.
The chapter that spoke to me the most was the one titled Fear of Success. I felt as if he had written it with me in mind! Over the last year or so (my whole life, maybe), I had wrestled with each of the reasons Dr. Pillay outlined for why so many of us fear success. They included:
* Fear of loneliness of success
* Fear of the disorientation of success
* Fear of the responsibility of success
* Fear of the unknown
* Fear of being unable to maintain the success
* Fear of losing our drive
* Fear of becoming prey
* Fear of losing our identity
I can put a checkmark after each and every one of those reasons. How about you?
Last Friday, I had the privilege of interviewing Dr. Pillay on UW Radio. It was one of my favorite shows of all time. If you missed it, click HERE.
Check out the video below. It’s sure to resonate with a lot of people.
I encourage you to order Life Unlocked to learn the ways in which you can overcome your fears and live the life you were meant to live.